Blu-ray Review: Without A Paddle

The rip-off of deliverance is available in crystal clear Blu-ray

In 1972, a movie was made about a group of friends who traveled down the fictional Cahulawassee River in rural Georgia. These friends canoe down the river, get mixed up with some hillbillies, and end up losing one of their buddies along the way. Deliverance was a ground breaking film at the time, and has been awarded 3 Academy Awards along with several Golden Globes.



Though it is set up as a parody and rip-off of Deliverance, Without a Paddle is nowhere near as good, nor as ground breaking, as it could be. Instead, Without a Paddle is a teen-flick full of college humor and pranks. From feces filled bags to stereotypical hillbillies, the movie has nothing near the wit and sophistication of Deliverance. Toss in a bunch of pot jokes and bad actors and you have the makings of this movie.

WAP tells the story of Jerry (Matthew Lillard), a corporate tool who loves to serf, Tom (Dax Shepard), a deadbeat who simply seems to continue his college life, and Dan (Seth Green), a hypochondriac doctor who has never been laid in his life, as they attempt to have one last adventure. When they were younger, the guys, along with a fourth friend named Billy (Carl Snell) pledged to find the infamous D.B. Coopers treasure.

Though the three had moved on, Billy had plotted and discovered where the treasure was. Trying for years to get the guys to go on a vacation, Billy was stuck with the knowledge but without his friends to share it with. However, upon the death of Billy (for reasons we never know, but it serves as a good plot point), the guys take this vacation to honor their dead friend. Along the way they encounter a resistant sheriff, two pot farmers, and D.B.’s partner (played by Burt Reynolds as homage to his character from Deliverance). The movie ends with the guys all growing up and fulfilling their duties.

Though the movie is an adventure-comedy, the laughs are few and far between. Too often WAP relies on sophomoric humor and crude jokes. While there are some good scenes (most notably the bear cub scene), the vast majority of the film just roles on with nothing. This lack of humor, with laughs few and far between, made the movie a chore, and not that great of a watch.

Along the same lines, as it is an adventure, you would expect it to be, well, exciting. Needless to say, WAP is not that exciting of a movie. Though the actors all did their own stunts, it is clear that most were within the confines of a stage, and the few that were real were not that good looking. The only real stunt performed was clearly done by stunt doubles, as you could tell from the camera shots on the class-5 rapid near the end of the film. Without any real action, this movie felt boring and really pushed the audience away from it.

Though the acting, script, and action of the movie are severely lacking, I really enjoyed the way it looked on my TV. The water flowed and bubbles realistically, with the sky-blue coloring sticking in my mind. With Tom and Jerry, I could see most of their facial hair and where it was coming from, which made me feel up-close and personal. Overall, the quality of the film, as well as the transfer onto Blu-ray, went a long way in making up for the lackings of the movie itself.

Likewise, the sound quality of WAP was well done and deserved a better movie to go with. I never lost dialog, nor did I have any issue hearing the background noises from the river. I enjoyed having the sounds of nature surrounding me, and this movie happily obliged. Just like with the film quality, the sound of WAP was far better than the actual movie.

As for extras, WAP has none that are really worth while. They have the normal director’s commentary, 13 deleted scenes that were even less funny than the actual movie, and promotional trailers. Frankly, these all were a waste of space, as they fulfilled no need and just served to bore me as I went through them. There was one extra, however, that was somewhat worth it: MTVs look at making the movie. I really enjoy filmmaking and so when I have a chance to see how a movie was made, along with the various techniques and stunts done, I really like it. Sadly this look into the making of WAP was far too short and didn’t make up for the lack any other useful extras.

Overall, I believe that Without a Paddle is not worth the purchase price. The movie is crude, badly written, and really seems like a waste of an hour and a half. Though some people might find it hilarious, I did not, and I do not think that the vast majority of people will. If you are planning on getting the movie, however, the image and sound quality of the Blu-ray version make it worth the upgrade price.

Movie: Though it possessed some good actors, nothing could save it.
Blu-ray Quality: The color of the river will stick in your mind
Sound Quality: surround yourself with the peaceful sounds of nature
Extras: only one extra was worth it, and it wasn’t even that long
Overall: a waste of an hour and a half

Without a Paddle is Rated PG-13 for drug content, sexual material, language, crude humor and some violence.
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Site Review: Abstract Inclinations

Ecommerce for Ecommerce’s sake is an empty phrase…



“Art for art's sake, is an empty phrase. Art for the sake of truth, art for the sake of the good and the beautiful, that is the faith that I am searching for.”
-George Sand

Most people consider anything to be art. They think that anything can be considered an art form, or an art piece. They do not consider the time, or the meaning, behind the works themselves. These meanings differentiate between what is art and what is simply scribbles on a page. It is far more than just splashes of color upon a canvas covered frame; art is something that is beautiful, moving, or a learning experience. Art simply is.



When you look at Abstract Inclinations (AI) you must keep that in mind. The site is full of art, but not always what you or I could tell as art. No, it is art of the abstract nature, art that has meaning if you can find it, and is only splashes of color and lines if you can’t. Currently, the art is only by Stephen N, but there are plans to enlarge the selection on AI. There are also tshirt designs available, with both art images and funny sayings on them.

Now, I normally do not like abstract art (read, I hate it) but I actually liked some of the art on AI. Most of the art was abstract and colorful, but i couldn't understand it. Sure, I could see the passion and work that went into it, but I couldn’t see what it meant. Some of the art, on the other hand, actually spoke to me, and I was quite moved. Homage Pollock, which is a green, yellow, and black piece on a white canvas really spoke to me. Frankly, if I had the cash, I would buy it right now.

Just like the actual art work, I actually really enjoyed the shirt designs that were on the site. Now, when I am not at work, I wear shirts with sayings on them. Most of them are witty, but some are just outright odd. The shirts on AI fit my personality perfectly. They have wit, funny sayings, and even one has the sophomoric humor that I am so used to. Though I can not attest to the make or quality of the shirts themselves, the sayings would look at home in a Hot Topic store.

Okay, so this is a review of a website, I think that I have discussed the content enough; let’s talk about the site itself. AI is a site that is dedicated to presenting artworks from independent artists to the world. Currently they are only hosting works by Stephen N, they will be enlarging the selections and allowing a wider range of art to be shown. I like the collaborative effort on the part of the website to help others out and to showcase their own work.

Normally, I only see art in galleries, so I really like the idea of having it on a website. When I do go art shopping (first Saturday of the Month is a Gallery Hop in Columbus), I wander from one establishment to another, always trying to find that one piece that sticks out at me. With AI, however, I am able to shop for art while in my boxers and can see everything in one place. This is not only easier for myself, but it also helps the artists as they are able to combine their efforts into one location. I like this method of selling art, and I really hope that it catches on.

The only downside of AI is really a few coding areas. The site has a good layout, good design, and a good message, but that is overshadowed by these issues. There is no mouse-over for anything but the top bar, and that really confuses me. Due to this, half of the links were never noticed until I searched around the page to find them. This should be a quick fix, and it is something that is needed to make navigation better. Additionally, the site doesn’t reset every time you visit. Currently, if you were on page 3 of the art, you start on page 3 again next time you are there. If this was a larger site that would make sense, but as a small site it is annoying. Again, this is an easy fix and one that I hope is done soon.

Overall, I believe that Abstract Inclinations is a pretty cool and nifty idea. The site has plenty of potential, and I am hoping that, in the future, more artists show up and contribute. I can see AI making a splash on the art scene and helping casual buyers like myself find art at our fingertips (literally). The only thing holding it back is the lack of multiple artists and some coding, both of which are easily fixed. I strongly urge you to go check out Abstract Inclinations today.
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Blu-ray Movie Review: Sin City

Sexy Dames, Lots of Blood, and a Castration: what’s not to love?

Ahh, Sin City, a city with a name more perfect has never existed. The city is streaming with sin, with pestilence, and with irony. Sin City calls forth to the tough, the thugs, the corrupt, and the lonely. They surge into the city like fleas on a dog, their bites stinging and their bellies fat with blood. Even without the steady stream of new faces, Sin City plays host to thousands of other deadbeats and lowlifes. The police force is corrupt, strippers and hookers stand on every corner, and there is no end in site. Sin City, the last place on God’s green earth that you would ever want to live.



Sin City tells three stories that are intertwined and run closely together. Though they interact throughout the movie, we are lead to believe that they really are just separate events throughout the course of a day in Sin City. We start off by meeting Hartigan (Bruce Willis), one of the few uncorrupt cops in the hell hole of a city, and, more importantly just a few days away from retirement. With his wife home making a juicy steak, Hartigan has just one more case to wrap up, that of Nancy Callahan (Jessica Alba). Needless to say, this one last case doesn’t end the way he wants it.

Flash forward and we meet Marv (Mickey Rourke), a two-time felon who is always in trouble. He has a beat up face, thousands of scars, and a penchant for coats. Oh, and he is obsessed with some dead hooker named Goldie (Jaime King). He travels through the underground of the city, searching for her killer, and finding all sorts of ‘fun’ in the process. On his hands there is blood, and I don’t mean that figuratively.

Jumping to the third and final story, we meet Dwight (Clive Own), “a felon with a new face and just one fingerprint away from the gas chamber”; what a chirpy and energetic character. While he might sound bad, he is a vigilante with a passion for dames and a desire to see justice done. We follow Dwight as he and his hooker friends try to keep the mob from returning and ruining Old Town, a part of Sin City where the hookers rule and the cops know their place. Explosions, trickery, traitors, and a sexy little Asian named Miho (Devon Aoki) are all just elements of this story. Finally landing with the girl of his dreams, Dwight is the only one to have a happy ending (pun intended).

Joining these great actors are even better known names. Benicio Del Toro shows up as Jackie Boy, the rival of Dwight. Josh Hartnett shows up as The Man, an unknown (personally I think that this is Dwight before surgery) hitman who is hired to kill those hiring him. The stunning Brittany Murphy plays Shellie, another lover of Dwight’s. Frank Miller himself even shows up, playing a bit role as a murdered priest. These actors all contribute to the look and feel of the movie, and they make it so much better.

Topping all of the other actors, however, is a character who doesn’t say a single thing. All we know is that Kevin smiles a lot, has really reflective glasses, is faster then Marv, and eats humans. Elijah Wood, in his first acting job since Lord of the Rings plays Kevin remarkably well, and gives him an interesting personality. All we know of Kevin we learn from others, yet somehow we feel connected to him throughout the movie. Wood plays this role well, and gives us the emotion we need simply from a face. It is amazing how far you get drawn into this character, and that is a credit to Wood.

Sin City, for those of you who do not know, if a movie directed by Richard Rodriguez and based off of the graphic novel by Frank Miller. Similar to Miller’s other works, the graphic novel seems extremely well thought out and planned. All of the characters are real, there is proper growth, and they are all three dimensional. To add to the feel, Miller would hire great artists and colorists to get everything to jump off of the page at you.

To recreate this feel in a film was hard work, but Rodriguez was up to the task. Sin City was a series of five stories, though only three are usually talked about. The stories are told in an interesting manner, with characters linking them, and events in common, but they are really supposed to be separate; well, that at least is what the production team claims (I have my doubts). By keeping the stories unique, and by having different stories in one movie, Sin City is able to capture the actual feel of the graphic novels, and this is something that I enjoyed immensely.

Taking it even further, Rodriguez utilizes imagery and coloring to bring the graphic novels to life. When we look at the world, we normally see it in hues and pastels; only the important things (break lights, eye color, stunning blonde hair, and perk pink nipples) capture our attention. Miller colored based on this, and Rodriguez translated it into the film. Things that would seem normal and mundane are in black or white, to symbolize how useless they are. Only the interesting, and intriguing, stuff are in color, and it symbolizes the importance to the story. This is a good method of engrossing people into a story, and it helps to show what needs to be seen.

There is no better way to see this contrast, and to have the colors leap out at you, then by watching it on Blu-ray on your HDTV. Seriously folks, I have never seen a better transfer to HD in my entire movie viewing life. Sin City raised the bar with their image quality, and they clearly are ready to set the new standard. Marv’s blood jumps at me, with the red glistening and reflecting just like it would in real life. The perk pink nipple of Goldie, well, let’s just say that they were very lifelike. Movements of fabrics, hair, and even bullets didn’t seem to cause any ghosting or blurring, which is very rare in a transfer. Everything in Sin City looked perfect, and it all looked absolutely jaw dropping.

Adding to the intensity of the coloring and quality of the movie, the sound that came out of my 5.1 system just shattered my perceptions of what was possible. The narration was front and foremost, the dialog was perfectly balanced, and the score streamed by my ears. I was fully immersed into the story, and I actually jumped in surprise when I heard sounds behind me. To give you an example of what it felt like, imagine being in a city and having somebody shoot at you: first the bullet whips by you (rush of wind), then you hear the gun (bang bang), followed by random ricocheting in the distance (for about 10 seconds). This is exactly how it sounded coming from my system, and this just amazed me.

When I see a movie with great image quality, I normally expect to see far less extras, as they needed the room on the discs. Sin City was not the norm. The two-disc Blu-ray edition is jammed pack with extras and special additions. I really liked the extended and recut versions of the movie. We see far more interactions between the characters, more intertwining of the stories, and a better take on Miller’s novel. In reality, I really do not understand why these scenes were cut and believe that they should have been in the original version. The only downside here is that they are told story by story, and that really throws off the way you saw it in theaters.

My favorite extra, however, was “The Long Take”. This was a 14 minute look into a scene directed by the great Quentin Tarantino. In the scene, Dwight imagines that he is talking to the dead Jackie Boy, hilarity ensues. I really liked the conversation, the actions, and the emotion that both actors put out here. As the actual film used less then 10 seconds of this clip, I am really glad that they added it into the film, and it is something that I recommend to everybody.

I simply can not praise Sin City enough. The movie is flawless, the imagery stunning, and the sound perfectly balanced. This is the perfect movie for any comic book guy, graphic novel reader, teen, or college kid. Heck, I am willing to bet that most adults would love Sin City. Even if you already have it on DVD (as I do, twice), I recommend that you get it on Blu-ray. Yeah, it is that much better.

Movie: Compelling story, good script, and great acting
Blu-ray Quality: Wow, just wow, the new standard of HD images
Sound Quality: Sounded like I was really being shot at
Extras: Loved the extras, and there were tons of good ones
Overall: Can not praise Sin City enough


Sin City is rated R for sustained strong stylized violence, nudity and sexual content including dialogue. I do not recommend that you let any kids younger then 15 view this movie as it is extremely violent.
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DVD Review: The Tale of Despereaux

1 Mouse, 2 Giant Ears, and 90 minutes of a poorly told story

The Tale of Despereaux, a recipe
Take one part mouse
Add two enormous ears
Toss in a poorly written story in the Elenorian Chivalric style
Add a pinch of computer rendering
Mix well, bake for an hour and a half, and then watch
This recipe will yield a 90 minute movie that is great for younger viewers, though most adults will consider it bland and boring.



Despereaux is a movie about a mouse, a rat, and a princess. The movie starts off with a rat named Roscuro (Dustin Hoffman) sailing on a ship in order to get some soup. Roscuro scurries through the town, finds the royal soup maker, and then attempts to get a sip. However, do to circumstances outside of his control, he tumbles into the soup and is almost eaten by the queen herself; the queen, seeing the offending rodent, passes out and dies. Adding a highly unrealistic twist to the story (think King Henry), the king is so saddened that he bans soup forever and locks himself up. Oh, and he also bans rats.

Fast forward a few days/months/years (we never know how long) and we see the birth of a new, and interesting creature, Despereaux (Matthew Broderick). Despereaux is a mouse, and one with ears roughly half the size of his body. Due to this unusual aspect, he develops no fear of humans, is able to do amazing feats of acrobatics, and doesn't act like a mouse should. Heck, the youngling doesn't even cower when shown a knife or a cat. These unnatural feelings and actions cause the young mouse to be alienated from the society.

Due to the fact that he is an outcast Despereaux is eventually removed from the community, and thus he is sent to live outside of their boundaries. Through a series of events and interactions, the young mouse meets up with Roscuro (no, the rat didn't just disappear, he is still around) and they go through a series of adventures. Within these adventures, their friendship grows, disappears, and then grows again, as the two lonely rodents work to bring soup back.

Though I normally like this sort of spoof of the chivalric story, I actually did not like Despereaux that much. The movie seemed to forced, to contrived, and just didn't flow too well. The book gave us a nice area to work in, and had several amusing stories and situations, but the movie didn't follow it well. No, Despereaux took several unrelated adventures and tried to piece them together, so that they could make a movie out of it. While this might work for the target audience (read, preschoolers), it didn't work for me and I am betting that it will not work for most other adults.

Though I do not like the story, I do like how it is presented. I believe that CG is overused these days, and it causes movies to lose my interest, but for stories like Despereaux CG is a needed reality. With this in mind, I actually liked the use, quality, and rendering of the graphics. I could see hairs moving realistically, the mouths were roughly film quality, and the reflections in the water were worthy of awards. Short of a few bad sequences (notably when Despereaux returns to his village covered in flower), the overall quality of the movie was really impressive. If it looked this good on DVD, I wonder how it will look on Blu-ray.

As for the actual DVD materials themselves, Despereaux comes with only one feature worth your time. “The Making of Despereaux” is a feature which is worth the 11 minutes of your time that you need to watch it. You get to learn about the making of the movie, what procedures were used, and all sorts of little tidbits about how to render properly and compose full CG animations. As I am extremely technical, I really enjoyed this little tidbit and thought that it was entertaining and a good learning experience.

As for the other extras, I found that they were poorly planned and just not good at all. Why would you include a feature called “Top 10 Uses for Oversized Ears” if you are simply going to show a minute long clip of boring and useless information? I don't want to watch it, and I am sure that it is not even targeted well for the younger kids. I also don't want to watch a preview for your new movies, even if they look kinda cool. The only extra, besides The Making of that was halfway decent were the games. Though these were simple and did not appeal to me, I am sure that the target demographic would actually enjoy them.

In short, the extras of Despereaux were lacking and poorly done.

Overall, I think that Despereaux is a good movie for anybody with kids, planning on having kids, or babysits a lot. For anybody else, it is not a good pick. The movie is non-linear, confusing, and backtracks far too often to introduce new characters. The only thing saving the movie at all is the amazing CG that was rendered by the artists; kudos to them. Even the extras, which will normally save a bad movie, could do nothing to help the movie out. I would recommend that you pass this movie on for more entertaining fare; though, if you must buy it, I do recommend the Blu-ray version.
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Blu-Ray Review: The Matrix: 10th Anniversary Edition

I like steak so I chose the Blue pill

Just ten short years ago, two brothers created the 28th best film of all time (As rated by IMDB readers). the Wachowski brothers, Andy and Larry, had limited film experience, yet they teamed up and put out a movie like the world had never seen before. Utilizing stunning special effects, ground breaking freeze-motion, and tieing into the emerging computer world, this movie caused every person who saw it to pause and ponder. Yes, just ten years ago, The Matrix was born.



The Matrix tells the story of Neo (Keanu Reeves), a small-time employee in a tech firm by day and a hacker by night. During the first few scenes with Reeves, there is the feeling that something is wrong with the world. Neo can not tell you what it is, but something is amiss, and something just isn’t right. To explain the real world, Neo meets up with Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) and Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) and sees the truth. That is, Neo sees that the world really isn’t a world, but it is merely a computer situation.

After being removed from the simulation and thrust into the real world, Neo is forced to come to terms with thousands of new things. He can learn Kung Fu, how to fly a helicopter, and get anything he wants all by being plugged into a machine. He must accept that food does not really taste good, that he will be living a limited life, and that everything he thought he knew was wrong. In short, Neo must restart his life, while at the same time finding out what his true destiny is.

I have always been a big Matrix fan and have loved the movie ever since it first came out. Though I abhor the sequels, the original movie is great, a classic, and a very good watch. The Matrix uses many literary metaphors and stories to tell a compelling tale. From Alice in Wonderland to several Sartre and Niche stories, you can follow the course of illusion and existentialism throughout the movie. The Matrix also nicely ties in various historical and biblical references, as the ship is a type Mark: 3:11 and called Nebuchadnezzar.

Another thing that I like about The Matrix is the symbolism that is inherent in the movie. From the references already mentioned, to the color hues in the film, this movie makes sure to use any and all symbols that it can. The Matrix talks about right v. wrong, the concept of what it is to be human, and even the technology struggle shown in Frankenstein. Even the names of the characters tie into the symboligy, as there are three main parts to the puzzle (Trinity), a new man (Neo), and a change to the world (Morpheus). The Wachowski brothers pulled all of the stops to make sure that The Matrix showed the world as it was and is.

Back in 1999, when The Matrix first came out, the movie was used by geeks, audiophiles, and rich people to show off exactly how impressive their surround sound system was. The movie had rich audio and booming bass, which set the standard for all DVDs to come. Though it is no longer the standard, the audio in The Matrix: 10th Anniversary Edition on Blu-ray was still exceptionally good, clear, and perfect on my 5.1 sound system. I could hear all of the dialog, had no issues with volume, and even was able to hear the clattering of each shell casing as it hit the ground. Though the audio is no loner the standard, it still is up to par and a good mix.

Along the same lines, the visual quality of The Matrix: 10th AE is stunning and superb. The colors, which are hued greener or bluer, depending on if you are in the Matrix or not, are vibrant and bright. The black levels are deep and properly adjusted for HD viewing. Overall, the transfer was well done and the movie looks really good on my HDTV. That said, however, if you are looking for the modern HD look, where you can see pores and sweat, then the transfer will be disappointing. The only downside of the transfer was that the film retained a grainy look; this look, however, actually fits with the mood of the movie so it wasn’t that bad.

Did you know that Carrie-Anne Moss was an actress in a TV show called The Matrix, an unrelated show that was on Canadian television a few years before the movie? Well, I didn’t, but I do now thanks to a 30some page booklet that came with the movie. You can read biographies, filmographies, production information, trivia, and even an essay about the movie in this book. This is unusual and lacking in many other anniversary or special editions of movies, and it is something that I really enjoyed.

The Matrix: 10th AE comes jammed with tons of extras that are well worth your time. Besides the booklet, the Blu-ray itself has four commentaries, a documentary about the sequels, and the normal slew of deleted and extended scenes. Additionally, there are an amazing 19 featurettes comprising 3 general categories of the film. All of these extras are worth watching, as they all take you further and further down the rabbit hole. The only downside here is the fact that they are all the same as the DVD, HD-DVD, and Ultimate Collection versions.

Overall, The Matrix: 10th Anniversary Edition is a great movie to add to your shelf. This represents the first time that The Matrix has been put out on its own on the Blu-ray format so you don’t need to waste precious space with the sequels. That said, however, if you already own the Ultimate Collection then you don’t need to get the movie as there is nothing new in this release. The Matrix is perfect for geeks, nerds, and any action junkie, as well as all teens.

Movie:this movie is one of the best ever made
Video: the transfer is well done and the colors are good, but it isn’t what you have come to expect from Blu-ray
Audio:the sound is amazing and well done, but not nearly as grand as it used to be
Extras: You truly can find out how deep the rabbit hole is by watching these extras
Overall: There is no excuse for sci-fi lovers not upgrading to the Blu-ray version

The Matrix is rated R for sci-fi violence and language.
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iPhone Game Review: Smack Me

Think of Bop It, but on your iphone

What is the 17th best selling iPhone paid application? What was the best application of February 2009 on Blogcritics? What gives you a retro feel, yet also gives you hours of great and addictive game play? If you cheated and looked, then you already know that the answer is Smack Me, a sweet iPhone and iPod Touch game from FunMobility.



Smack Me is a modernistic version of the classic Bop It game. The iPhone shows you an image and an accompanying command – lift me, freeze me, smack me, pinch me, etc.. Your job simply is to do exactly what it is asking of you, within a time frame, while listening to absurd retro music that keeps speeding up. Though it is easy at first, it keeps getting harder and harder as you unlock more difficult levels.

Smack Me has a very basic premise and concept behind it, but that is what makes it so much fun. You can sit there for hours simply following very basic commands, but never see repeats or patterns. This seems easy, but it is really not. The fact that you need to get it right every time, that the sequences get faster, and that the music has alternating beats really throws you off, which in turn really makes it a difficult game. I love how hard it is to play this game, as it gives it not only the retro feel, but also the ability to play over and over.

With these ever changing patterns, Smack Me is also an extremely addictive game to play. Nothing is ever the same from one minute to the next, and there are never any repetitive patterns. Additionally, with the difficulty of the actual game, it was very hard to finish games 100% on the hardest difficulty. Due to this, I kept replaying Smack Me because I wanted to complete the game 100%, do it better, and do it faster. Addictability is essential in any simple game, as it is the only way to keep you playing the game for hours.

I am a retro guy front to back; I like Jumpman, Pac Man, and techno. If something is playing music at me in an 8-bit format, I will instantly fall in love with it. One of the things that I really like about Smack Me is the fact that it has an amazing retro feel. The game is simple and easy, with commands that remind me of things I would find on my old Sega Genesis. The music is technoy, which not only amuses me, but reminds me of my Daft Punk era. Lastly, the voice that commands you in Smack Me is projected in 8-bit format, which means that I love the game. Toss in the fact that the high-score table looks like the ones that you would find on old arcade games and you have a great mix.

The only thing that I find concerning about this game is the fact that the price is too high for most people in the app store. People seem to either want free games or things that cost $.99. Very few games or applications are successful over that price point, and, at $1.99, Smack Me puts itself above the upper limits. Due to this, I do not believe that Smack Me will be able to reach the entire target audience, as most of them will not pay that much. That said, however, I believe that Smack Me is worth the cost, and that it will give you hours of enjoyment.

In the end, I really can not praise Smack Me too much. This is one of the best games available on the iPhone and it is probably going to be a strong candidate for best iPhone application/game of 2009. By utilizing all of the fun principles of the iPhone, from muti-touch to the accelerator, the game really gets you into it. This game is easily one of the most addictive out there, on any platform, and it is a game that you will fall in love with immediately. When I first downloaded Smack Me, I played it for several hours on end. Due to the amazing game play and addictive qualities, Smack Me receives 5-out-of-5 stars.


Smack Me has not been rated by the ESRB. The game is currently only available for the iPhone and the iPod Touch
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The Top 10 iPhone Applications from March 2009

Yes kids, it’s time for another adventure in Appleland

Hello, and welcome to the third installment of iWant, iNeed, iRecommend. This is a monthly series that will, simply put, talk briefly and present the top ten iPhone and iPod Touch applications from that month. At the end of the year, the 120 mentioned applications will then go head to head to see which apps become the top ten for the year. If you would like to read my previous top ten lists, as well as all my other iPhone and iPod Touch application reviews, you can see them here. While this list is subjective (as are all top ten lists), I did my best to base this on actual use, not my own opinion. Enjoy.



10. Duck and Cover
What application gives you no help in an emergency? What can’t float in the event of a tidal wave? What is guaranteed (or your $.99 back) to not repel Godzilla? If you said your iPhone, then you are wrong; however, if you said the Duck and Cover application for your iPhone, then you are 100% correct. Really, this application does absolutely nothing, but that is what is so sweet about it. Personally, I have a bit of a soft spot for satirical things, and Duck and Cover is most certainly one of those. You can get Duck and Cover for $.99.

9. Historic Sites
Historic Sites is an nice little application for your iPhone that will help you find interesting and unique historical places. Using your phones geopositioning system, this application will search the National Registry of Historic places and pull up information for you. You can find information, both from the Registry and from the internet, while still remaining in the app. Should you decide that you want to go there, Historic Sites will give you directions and/or a map. I believe that Historic Sites is great for any family road trip, and at $.99 it is a steal.

8. Darwin Collection
Even before the Kindle application for the iPhone came out, many companies were making their own Ebooks for the iPhone. IndiaNIC was one of these companies, and they made ton of Ebooks that looked unique. All of their applications have adjustable font settings, day and night modes, white noise generators, and bookmarks. With their Darwin Collection, IndiaINC combined all of the books that were published by the famed English Naturalist. I strongly recommend this application for any botanist, naturalist, scientist, or biologist out there. You can get Darwin Collection for $1.99.

7. Don’t Panic
I know what you are thinking, no, Don’t Panic has nothing to do with The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I was disappointed when I found that out too. However, it is a pretty cool little app. Basically, Don’t Panic is a collection of quotes, sayings, and other random things that are supposed to calm you down and reign you in from your hectic lifestyle. It also can play some soothing music, which should help take you out of the hustle and bustle that surrounds you. At $1.99, Don’t Panic is a good way to relax whenever you have a second at your disposal.

6. 1st in History
By now, most of you know that I love trivia and random facts. In fact, I usually have a trivia application in each of my top 10 lists. 1st in History is that trivia application from Match. 1st in History is a pretty basic application, but it does what it says. It asks you a question, then you need to guess the person or thing that did it first. You touch the screen and it gives you the answer. Though this sounds basic, this is good training for you local bar’s version of trivia, and it might help you win some bets. Plus, at a price of NOTHING, 1st in History can’t really go wrong.

5. Kindle for the iPhone
Kindle for the iPhone was launched at the beginning of March with much fanfare. Finally, people could read the Ebooks that they bought from Amazon on the iPhone. While most public domain books were already covered (see my 2nd place and my 8th place for examples), now they could read new novels. You can adjust text size, sync with your actual Kindle, and also leave bookmarks. Simply put, this application is everything you would expect from the real deal except with a smaller screen. Though you can get Kindle for the iPhone for free, most books will cost you $9.99.

4. Air Browser
Also widely discussed in early March was a change by Apple to allow other browsers in the app store. The best of these new browsers, many of which showed up on the same day, was Air Browser. Built from Safari, Air Browser allows you to do everything that you expect from a normal desktop browser. There is tabbed browsing, bookmarking, Google suggestions, and history. Plus, it tosses in things like private browsing, shake navigation, and favicons (favorite icons), which you can only find on the iPhone. If you want a better and fuller browsing experience, then drop $1.99 for Air Browser.

3. Tap Tap Revenge 2
Back on my top 10 of 2008 list, Tap Tap Revenge made it in as number 9. In March, the second take of this game has made it all the way up into spot number 3. Though it is still not my cup of tea, over 19,000 reviews on iTunes means that the iPhone owning public loves Tap Tap Revenge 2. The game is extremely simple; you tap a glowing orb when it passes through a circle at the bottom of your screen. And, just like in Guitar Hero, the taps coincide with the music that is playing. Containing over 150 songs from various artists, Tap Tap Revenge 2 is a great free application.

2. Books by Ubiklabs
Keeping with the theme of Ebooks, which does seem to be the main focus this month, the number 2 spot goes to a collection of them from Ubiklabs. The company has put out over 30 Ebooks, all of which are in the public domain, including Don Quixote, Tom Sawyer, and, you guessed it, Origin of Species. The books, which are available in English, French, German, Italian, and Spanish all come with bookmarks, page turning animations, and a gentle font that is easy on the eyes. You can grab individual books from Ubiklabs for $1.99 or $2.99, depending on the title.


And the #1 iPhone application from March 2009 is…

1. Steve Parker’s EZ and Easy apps
The number 1 spot, just like the number 2 spot, is a collection of applications. Ranging from a search function, to news, to weather, these applications from Steve Parker are extremely localized and extremely easy to use. EZ News is an application that links to the 6 most popular news agencies (CBS, CNN, Fox, MSNBC, Yahoo, USA Today) and shows them in a format that works perfectly for the iPhone. Though this wasn't his first application, Steve has released several iterations of EZ Radar, which is a localized radar for various regions of the country. These are easier to use then the built in weather application, and they show animated radar. You can get the EZ applications for either $.99 or $1.99, depending on the app.


Well folks, there you have it, the top 10 iPhone and iPod Touch applications from March 2009. If you have any suggestions for next months list, or want to tell me what I missed, please let me know in the comment field.
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iPhone Application Review: Dub – No More Business Cards

Sick and tired of a fat wallet due to all the business cards that you need to carry? Want to stop wasting trees and harming the environment? Just want to make yourself look cool and use sweet new technology? If you answered yes to any of the above questions, or simply want a much easier way to exchange business information, then I have the perfect iPhone application for you.



Dub is a new application that is, essentially, a business card on your phone. You can swap phone numbers with clients, give your email address to new buyers, and even update your information on the fly, with the new changes automatically being sent to your contacts. Dub is available on most smart phones (Blackberry, iPhone, Android, etc.) and can also be used by most texting phones. You can use it to sync data to your contact list, send group invites, and it is even integrated with Facebook and Linkedin. Dub updates the business cards to the new millennia.

Dub is actually quite simple to learn and use. When you download the application, you are able to immediately start to edit your contact information. Enter you name, phone number, email, addresse, IM program name, etc. and you are done. Everything has an easy box to fill in and is extremely easy to do. You don’t even need to fill everything in; just enter the information that you want others to see. Once you get all of this done, you can send invites (give your card to somebody) by entering an email address. Others can do the same (giving you their card) by entering yours. Everything is quite easy to use.

I really like how easy the application is to use. With everything in nice, neat boxes, I quickly was able to enter my information and jump to the next spot. This is essential in any application that needs this much data, as otherwise it would be tedious and pointless. Along with this, the overall layout and feel of the application helped me use it. By being formatted for the iPhone, Dub felt smooth and well polished. I was able to use the easy navigation buttons, and the scroll lists were a huge plus. By making it feel natural, it only makes it easier to use; this, in turn, then leads to more people using it.

Another thing that I like about Dub is the fact that it is integrated with almost everything. I can have things automatically update to my twitter, sync with my Outlook, and work within Linkedin. Heck, it even is integrated with Facebook. Even nicer, Dub allows me to automatically update all of my contact information from Gmail, Outlook, iMail, etc. Features like this help the transition users to the new technology, as Dub does everything automatic and quickly. Hopefully this will help to expand the use of Dub, as that will help it even more.

On the other hand, there are a few problems with Dub. For starters, there are not many people using the software. While I believe that it will grow in the future, any and all startups start quite slowly, and gradually build their base. Dub is no different, but that actually harms the application. While I can get and send contact info, which is changeable, to fellow Dub users, most people I get in contact with will not have the application. How am I supposed to get rid of business cards if most of my clients still use them, and have yet to update. While this is not their fault, until more people jump on the Dub bandwagon, it will be hard to replace business cards with new technology.

Another thing that I am concerned about is the fact that I can only have one profile. I am a writer for Blogcritics, a blogger, a sportwriter, an intern, a student, and a campaign worker. With 5 jobs, each with corresponding contact information, how am I supposed to fit them all on this application? Dub only has spot for one URL, one e-mail, etc. and so it is not that conducive for people with multiple contact needs, and anything like that. I hope that DubMeNow is able to come up with mulitprofile method that allows you to have information for all of your different needs. This would further the application, and make it much more useful.

Overall, I believe that Dub is a nice step towards modernizing our business communications. By linking with everything that we use, making it easy, and ensuring that updates are quick and automatic, Dub is striving to create a brand new niche for itself. I really like the application, and only have a few concerns about it; hopefully DubMeNow will be able to fix my concerns shortly. I believe that any and all business people should get Dub on their smart phones and use it instead of business cards. This saves the environment and makes life so much easier. Due to the ease of use, the automatic updates, and the immigration into everyday life, I believe that Dub is a highly important application that you should grab today.

Dub is available for free from the iPhone app store and is also available on most smart phones in America
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Blu-ray Review: Watchmen: The Complete Motion Comics

A drop of blood on a smiley face button never looked so good

In the 1980s, two comic books redefined how the genre (and its fans) were interpreted by the world. Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns and Alan Moore's Watchmen branched the stereotypical stalwarts of comics and took an emerging new genre and made it much better. The stories were still told via graphics and text bubbles, but they went further than Superman and the like. The stories were darker, the action was harder, and the sex was rampant. Suddenly, comics were more than a past time, they started to emerge as an actual means of telling the story. Thus, graphic novels, which had existed since the 1970s, emerged into the publics vocabulary.




Watchmen: The Complete Motion Comics spins a dark and compelling tale. Starting in the 1940s, the tale follows the adventures of masked superheroes who serve the interests of their country. From creating the atom bomb, to fighting in her wars, these heroes (the Watchmen) strive to help America out while they still manage to fight crime. In the late '60s, however, Nixon decides to outlaw the masked crusaders, and they are forced to live normal lives. Only two remain on the government's payroll, Dr. Manhattan and The Comedian.

After retiring, most of the Watchmen stopped talking to each other and started to work in their separate lives. However, after the murder of Edward Blake (The Comedian) -- don't worry, this is the start of the movie, there is nothing spoiled here -- they are forced to unite once again. Rorschach, a man with an ever changing mask, believed that somebody took out Blake because he was a hero, and not for any other reason. With this in mind, Rorschach starts to unite all the other Watchmen as he digs deeper and deeper into a conspiracy that is far larger than anything he could ever have imagined.

What is so fascinating about the Watchmen graphic novel series is the quality of the artwork. Unlike most comics, Watchmen focused on the art as a means to tell a story, and therefore it was a primary concern to artist Dave Gibbons. Due to this, Gibbons made sure that all of his art was well done, that there were only a few mistakes, and that the images served only to progress the story. This was groundbreaking for the time, but it has since become the status quo for modern graphic novels.

What is cool about Watchmen: TCMC is that it stayed true to the overall feel and look of the graphic novels. Watchmen: TCMC literally takes the pages from the books and puts them on your TV. To make this interesting, they add a narrator and they added a little bit of animation to each frame. Cars will 'move', people will 'walk', and mouths will 'speak', but the overall imagery is the same. It is all very basic, but the animations tend to fit the overall feel and look of the story.

The only real thing detracting from Watchmen: TCMC is the fact that the entire thing is voiced by Tom Stechschulte. Yes, Tom voices everybody, including the women and children. While this makes Watchmen: TCMC seem as though it is being read by a person to themselves (as most graphic novels are), it doesn't go over that well. Most of us do not read in a monotone - we all create voices for each character - and the fact that Stechschulte speaks in one voice doesn't help in this regard. Personally, I really think that this harmed the movie, as it threw me off and caused me to do double takes (the listening version of a double take, of course).

Speaking of the sound, Watchmen: TCMC is presented in a perfect 5.1 blend of music and Sellers' voice. The music, as composed by Lennie Moore, fit the mood and theme of the movie quite well. There are no instances where the music overwhelms the narration, and no instances where it works the other way; all of the sound is blended thoroughly and completely throughout the movie. The only thing missing in sound is variation of Sellers' voice, but that is asking for too much.

As for the video quality of Watchmen: TCMC, one merely needs to pick up a copy of Watchmen. What you see on the page is exactly what you get on Watchmen: TCMC on Blu-ray. The compressed image plays at about 10 mbps, but it doesn't affect the overall look of the movie at all. The colors are vibrant and stunning, as the yellows, greens, and blues all jump out at you. What is especially nice is the fact that the black levels are deep, yet they still contain the proper ink feel from the graphic novels. Personally, I do not believe that the masked heroes looked any better then they did on Blu-ray.

Though Watchmen: TCMC on Blu-ray is a stunning visual piece, it is severely lacking in another area. There is basically nothing in the extras category of the menu that is worthwhile. I don't want to see a preview of the new Wonder Woman movie, nor do I want to see the cast members of Wonder Woman talk about their various roles for about 15 seconds. The Video Journal, which sounded promising, was really just a quick piece where Moore explains how happy he is with the translation of his novels onto the big screen. For such a beloved and important graphic novel, Warner screwed this section up by leaving out any useful or good extras.

Overall, I believe that Watchmen: TCMC is a movie designed to serve one of two purposes. It exists to draw people into the realm of Watchmen, and is mainly to be seen before the actual movie. On the other hand, it also exists to serve a strong demand from people who loved the novels when they came out. Watchmen: TCMC is perfect for these people; it is also good for any person who likes comic books, graphic novels, or Watchmen on the big screen. Due to the imagery of the movie, I strongly urge you to get this on Blu-ray over standard DVD.

Movie: The movie is flawless and stunning and only held back by the single voice narration.
Blu-ray Quality: A drop of blood on a smiley face button has never looked so good.
Sound Quality: Well mixed and well formulated.
Extras: There is nothing important here.
Overall The movie is great for anybody who loves comics.

Watchmen: The Complete Motion Comics is unrated but intended for mature audiences only. References to sex, drugs, and violence abound.
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DVD Review - Quantum of Solace

Bond, James Bond. That simple line conjures up images of sexy women, elite card games, and a man in a tux. James Bond is a man of class, a man of elegance, a man with a rich taste, and yet a man who can kill you with the blink of his eye. Bond has been able to save the world over 20 times, and yet he still always gets the girl. Bond is known as the man that always gets away from the bad guys, but, you can now truly capture him. Yes, you can take James Bond home with you, if you get Quantum of Solace on DVD that is.



Quantum of Solace is the second Bond movie of the new canon. Instead of relying on separate episodes that were unique, as all of the old films did, the new James Bond movies tell an actual story arch. Starting with Casino Royale, and moving into Quantum of Solace, Daniel Craig plays a new version of Bond, one that is dark and mysterious. This is a new take on the series, and one that is quite interesting.

Quantum of Solace starts off exactly where Casino Royale left off, which marks the first time in the Bond series that one movie lead into another (they are usually not even referenced). James is still on his quest for vengeance, and still circling around the world, trying to figure out exactly what Quantum is. Through a series of betrayals, car chases, roof chases, and many hand fights, a picture of the organization emerges. However, at the very end, we are left knowing only slightly more then we did when we started.

Quantum of Solace takes the normal Bond stalwarts and uses them in a new way. There are still Bond girls, but they are no longer necessarily the object of James’ desire. James is still elite and proper, but he has been updated into the new millennia (most notably by playing Texas Hold ‘Em instead of Baccarat in Casino Royale). M is still there, but she is a woman, and definitely a balance to the sexism that Bond seems to portray. The gadgets are still there, though they are laid back and there is no more Q. Yes, Quantum of Solace is still Bond, but it seems to be a different one.

I really do like this modernistic revitalization to the Bond franchise. While they still keep to the same elements that have served them well in the past – technology, car chases, shooting, Bond outsmarting everybody, girls – the new stories provide a more compelling character study to entertain the modern Jason Bourneified audiences. We expect wit, intelligence, and vengeance from today’s heroes, and the new Bond delivers it. By having Craig create a new Bond from scratch, we are able to see an evolution of a character, and that is highly important for the survival of this franchise.

One of my favorite things about Quantum of Solace is the new interplay between M (Judi Dench) and Bond. Both Dench and Craig are great actors, and their emotional roles are played exceptionally well. M clearly cares about Bond, and she also cares about her organization. She gets placed in a paradox where she must defend MI6 as it is loosing prestige at the cost of having Bond taken in and probably killed. This internal struggle is portrayed expertly by Dench, and is truly understandable. To make it even harder, the two have a mother son relationship, and so M truly has sacrifices to be made. Both Craig and Dench are able to pull this acting off seamlessly, and so the emotional drama seems real.

I also really like the new vengeful approach that Bond has. Though many of my friends like the old chauvinistic Bond (though they would hate those characteristics in any real human), most don’t like the new take on him. I, on the other hand, like the new Bond, as he shows us why he is what he is later in life. Instead of a person who should have AIDS by now, the Craig version of James keeps his class and womanizing while being respectful and proper. He also is in love with a woman, and that is the first time we have seen this since the second movie, when Sean Connery’s character was married. To me, this new emotional depth to Bond really adds to the story, and helps the franchise out drastically.

One thing that I find missing from the new Bond franchise is the lack of Q. While there were gadgets in Quantum of Solace, there was no Q character, and that was severely disappointing. I love the wit, sarcasm, and general attitude that was always portrayed by the role. The man that gave Bond his gadgets was a great character, and it was always interesting to see what cool new technologies they came up with this time. I am hoping that in the next rendition, they decide to add Q and some of his goodies back into the series; he is sorely missed.

As for the actual DVD, the video and audio qualities were about as good as you can get short of getting Quantum of Solace on Blu-ray. The colors were vibrant, the black levels deep, and the action sequences occurred with very little ghosting or pixilation. The overall transfer was done perfectly, and it was quite stunning. As for the audio, the DTS 5.1 surround sound was exceptionally impressive. Using all of the channels, the sound literally immersed you into the movie, as you would hear cars speed by you and bullets hit the floor at your feet. I was quite impressed with the sound, and it helped the movie out greatly.

Though there were several extras on the Quantum of Solace DVD, the only good one was Bond on Location. This thirty minute clip was basically a mini-documentary about all of the locations that the crew went to to film this movie. Ranging from the deserts of Peru, to small towns in Italy, the crew went all over the world for Quantum of Solace. I really liked how they explained the history and idiosyncrasies of each locale, and were able to show exactly how they were used in the movie. Though this is not essential to the experience, I really believe that Bond on Location helped to add to the Quantum of Solace feel.

Overall, I believe that Quantum of Solace is a good addition to any Bond collection. The movie is well done, engrossing, and an interesting character study. Additionally, the video and audio qualities of the DVD are stunning. I believe that Quantum of Solace is a perfect gift for any Bond lover, spy-flick aficionado, or any college kid. You can grab Quantum of Solace on DVD for $29.98 at stores across America.

Quantum of Solace is Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, and some sexual content.
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DVD Review: Slumdog Millionaire

Last year, one movie captured America’s hearts and minds. The movie, which was on the path to nowhere (straight-to-DVD release), reached out and was seen by millions of people across the country. The same movie won eight academy awards, the most for a single movie since the Lord of the Rings series. That very same movie is now available for you to own on Blu-ray and standard DVD. Yes, America, Slumdog Millionaire has just been released for you to own.



Slumdog Millionaire tells the story of Jamal Malik (Dev Patel, Ayush Mahesh Khedekar, and Tanay Chheda), an orphaned kid from the slums of Mumbai. Starting with his early education, and ending with his final question on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire, the movie follows Jamal through his entire life. Told in a series of flashbacks, all of which are tied to the current question posed on the game show, Slumdog Millionaire weaves a tale of love, betrayal, longing, and the story of a hero. This story is bound to move anybody who watches it.

Joining Jamal for most of the story are Latika (Freida Pinto, Tanvi Ganesh Lonkar, and Rubiana Ali) and Salim (Madhur Mittal, Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail, and Ashutosh Lobo Gajiwala). Latika is the lover and close friend of Jamal, and Salim is Jamal’s brother and long-time friend. Throughout the movie, the three characters grow up together (which is why there are three actors for each) and learn to love each other. Though they all have distinct personalities, which come into conflict a lot, all three characters are very similar in their actions and mannerisms.

Slumdog Millionaire tells a basic rags-to-riches story, as well as one of redemption and love. What is interesting about this, however, is the fact that the movie itself runs along the same story arc. When Warner Brothers cut their independent film division, it looked like Slumdog Millionaire (which was owned by WB) was destined to go straight to DVD and not be released. Fox Searchlight, seeing the potential in the movie, bought the rights and started to release it slowly. Using their perfected methods, much like they did with Little Miss Sunshine and Juno, Fox released it in certain theaters, slowly expanding. This resulted in a huge buzz being built, and the movie became quite popular. Obviously, this worked, as they were able to get eight Academy Awards out of this; it must have been written.

I find this method of advertising and releasing a movie to be very interesting and unique to the industry. Nowhere else, in video games, music, books, or even most other movie studios, will you see a system in place like the one that Fox has. Three years in a row, they take an independent movie (which the Academy will normally ignore) and get enough support and buzz behind the movie. This buzz not only enlarges the audiences as it slowly spreads across the country, but it also makes voters look at it. I hope that Fox continues to use this operation to get great movies around the country.

Though Slumdog Millionaire is considered an English movie, roughly a third of the actual movie is shot in Hindi. This is due to the fact that director Danny Boyle wanted the movie to be entirely in English, but was unable to find suitable young kids that spoke it well enough. With this in mind, the entire first third of the movie is shown with subtitles, though they are surrounded by a colored background that blends into the movie. I really like the fact that the subtitles do not stick out, yet are easily readable. I am sure that this is a hard thing to achieve, and so I appreciate the efforts that it took. My only concern is that they didn’t explain how the boys learned English (though they could have learned it from tourists that they conned); this detracts from the movie a little.

One of my favorite things about Slumdog Millionaire is the acting. Though the extras seem to want to draw attention to themselves, the main actors were quite good. I really liked how well the little kids acted, and the fact that they were able to maintain the proper character. Had Jamal been anything but happy, hopeful, and idealistic at the start, the movie would not have worked. Had Salim not had desire, lust, but still love in his eyes when young, his older character would not have made any sense. The children played their roles perfectly, and they made sure that the future version of themselves fit, and I really like this.

Though some copies of Slumdog Millionaire do not contain the proper extras , mine came with everything that it should have. This was very important, as I was able to find an extra that I actually enjoyed quite a bit. Deleted scenes are usually something that I can ignore but, in Slumdog Millionaire, the deleted scenes were actually quite interesting and a good learning experience. These scenes are fully produced, and are basically the scenes that Boyle wanted left on the final cutting floor. They add a fair bit to the story, are quite long and intensive, and actually draw you into the movie even more. I would argue that these deleted scenes alone are a good reason to buy the DVD, as FOX rentals no longer have extras. If you grab the Blu-ray, you can get the 'anatomy of the toilet' extra, which sounds too great to miss.


One thing that I do not like, but I am sure that most Americas do like, about Slumdog Millionaire, is the actual ending. See, I am not a person for Disney endings. I like sweet endings, but only rarely and only when they fit. I don’t like forced endings, sweet because they 'need' to be. Frankly, I love it when the hero dies, the boy and girl split up, and/or when the dog gets shot for having rabies. With this in mind, the ending (actual story ending, the dance number was sweet) of Slumdog Millionaire, though it is needed in the culture it was produced in, was quite disappointing compared to the rest of the movie.

Overall, I believe that Slumdog Millionaire is a movie that most Americans can enjoy. It is your stereotypical love lost/love found story, and it can speak to everybody. The story is told in an interesting and compelling manner, and it will certainly draw you into it.

Slumdog Millionaire is rated R for some violence, disturbing images and language.
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iPhone ‘Game’ Review: Nano

For the record, Nano placed 5th in my top-10 iPhone Apps of February 2009 article.

Imagine sitting on the bus, your eyes focused on a small device in front of you, soothing music is playing out of your headphones, and your hand casually is moving around the screen of the device. Now, keep that image in your head, but alter it a little; now you are playing a game, the music, though still soothing, changes based on how you play, and all you are trying to do is get some small bits of light into circles. Interesting image, isn’t it? Well, that is exactly what you get when you play Nano, a game that is currently available in the app store for only $.99.



Nano is a piece of software that is perfect for meditation, calming kids down, or just getting some personal time on the bus. The game is slow paced, enjoyable, and, quite frankly, easy to learn and use. In its entirety, Nano is one of the simplest things you will ever use. Use your touch to manipulate ‘magnetic’ arrows, which direct balls of light around the screen. Aim the cool colored balls (blues, greens, whites) into floating circles. Warm colored balls (reds, oranges, yellows) you want to direct away. That is all that Nano is, and that is why it is so peaceful.

Take a look at the this video and think about what you just saw. This, quite literally, is all that Nano is. Notice how simple it is, how soothing it is, and how unique it is. Now, if the game looked at all interesting to you (even if it just barely peeked your interest), then odds are that you will enjoy it. However, if the video of Nano looked boring or dull, then don’t bother downloading it at all.

Nano is a polarizing game, with people loving it and people hating it, very few are neutral on the game (at least, that is what the reviews and ratings in the app store seem to say). Though I believe that the video test (as indicated above) is a good way of telling how you would perceive the game, I still see some problems with it. This probably stems from the fact that Nano is labeled and categorized as a game, though most people wouldn’t consider it one. To be a game, or to not be a game, that is the question.

For most, a game is something where there is an end objective, fast paced gameplay, and actual challenges you must face. None of these are present in Nano, so it must not be a game. I actually agree with this argument, I feel that Nano is more of a meditation device, and a cool music-based piece of software, than a game. I believe that people looking for a game are going to be disappointed, and that might be why there is such a wide gap in the perceptions of the application. However, this is probably up to each person, so take a look at the video, and decide for yourself.

My favorite feature in Nano would, quite frankly, be the fact that it allows me to meditate. I love the simplicity of the game, and how all I have to do is slowly change the various magnetic currents to either target or avoid certain colors. To me, this is so unique in the app store, and as unique in the software world as a whole, that it is a fun and interesting concepts. I really like the fact that I can just sit there and watch the balls move around, alter their course as I please, and just let the music take me in. Heck, I don’t even need to try to stop the hot balls from entering (it does cause a ‘bad’ musical change, however), as I can just sit there and let a steady stream enter the floating circle. To me, the ability to meditate in Nano is essential, and really nice.

Another nice feature about Nano is how the music changes based on what you do. When using the application at first, I thought that the music was just naturally changing as part of the game, not as part of my actions. However, after playing for an extended period of time, I started to notice that the pitches and tones changed based on what I did. To me, this drew me further into my meditative state, and it made me enjoy Nano even more.

Though these do not detract from the overall experience of using Nano, I would like to point out two problems with this application. For starters, the load time of Nano is exceptionally long, and it will sometimes freeze. This is probably due to the fact that the iPhone keeps many things running even though they are 'closed', thus Nano has to clear memory for itself. Depending on how bad it is, you might freeze the phone by hitting either two physical buttons on your phone. I suggest that you hard reset your phone if this happens. The other issue is that I would like to see the magnetic currents of Nano reset themselves each level. Currently, they stay facing the same way that they did when the last level finished, and that annoys me. As I said before, both of these do not detract from the overall Nano experience.

Overall, I feel that Nano is an application that is easily worth the $.99 investment to buy. I really liked the application, enjoyed the music, and loved to be lost in it. However, I know that not everybody will like, get, or enjoy the game. With this in mind, I urge you to view the video, and then decide from that. The simple ability to meditate, while on a crowded city bus, showed me how much Nano was truly worth. Due to that, as well as how much I actually liked the game, I am giving Nano five-out-of-five stars. Congrats.

Nano has not been rated by the ESRB. The game is currently available on the iPhone and iPod Touch

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DVD Review: South Park season 12

Ahh, the world of South Park. A place where fart jokes, taking a dump on a desk, and making fun of Canadians is so enjoyable. A place where there is no internet and no Peruvian pan-flute bands. And why shouldn’t this little hamlet in the Colorado Mountains be so enjoyable? After all, in this cartoon world, there is nothing else to do but enjoy a load of sophomoric humor.



But South Park is far more then just sophomoric humor and bodily functions. Yes, South Park is a cartoon that hits on so many levels. This makes it a worthwhile show to study, if not just to watch, for most age levels. From examining the complex issues of AIDS, to discussing the overall reliance on the internet by modern day society, South Park challenges its viewers to see beyond the surface (it is on the surface that the body humor lies) and look at what actually is being discussed in the cartoon. This cartoon is not about the humor or disgusting actions that the ‘actors’ do, but it is about what you take out of it.

Season 12 of South Park is no different, in this regard, then any previous season. Like the rest, it attracts its target demographic (high school males) with body jokes, fart jokes, and lots of cussing. Also, like all previous seasons, season 12 serves this up with intellectual and thought provoking episodes, where the lower levels are what really matters. South Park season 12 is more of the same humor, with newer issues; due to this continuing nature, one must ask, how much longer can this show last?

One of my favorite things about South Park are the random scenes. As most episodes of South Park are forgettable, it's the scenes that stick out to me. From clips about heading to California for jobs, to a giant hamster shooting lasers out of its eyes, the show keeps me laughing. Sure, I don’t remember the whole plot point of Major Boobage, but I remember the scenes of Kenny when he is high. To me, these random scenes are what make South Park so great.

Though most of the episodes in season 12 were forgettable, one really stuck out to me. I really liked the two episode story arch that was told in Pandemic 1&2. Though these episodes were filled with ethnic stereotypes, the overall meaning of the episodes is what was enjoyable. In the Pandemic episodes, the boys of South Park realize that the Peruvian pan-flute bands are raking in some serious dough, and that they want in on the action. The government, seeing this epidemic of bands, quickly arrests and removes all offending bands, the boys newly formed one included. Toss in a few giant hamsters, some hieroglyphics, and ten minutes of fart jokes, and you have yourself a two-episode arc.

Now, it is not the story arc of Pandemic that interested me so much, it was the overall message that the episodes were saying. Sure, the giant hamsters were cool, but they didn’t matter. Pandemic was taking a look at the government’s response to the smallest of things. Far too often, a single incident, or a small series of them, will set the government off and running to fix the problems. Often, these incidents are isolated, and/or are not harmful to the country as a whole. Yet, the government will act, and attempt to ‘fix’ the problem. Pandemic is making fun of this sort of governmental action, and is doing it well. South Park is pointing out that the government over reacts, doesn’t fully analyze, and sometimes makes things worse. These sorts of analyzings are why I really like South Park.

Though most of the DVD extras were boring and dull (who wants to see director’s commentary), I thought that the Making of ‘Major Boobage' was a really sweet feature. Basically, this extra took you from the initial story board phase (unsurprisingly, the art looks about the same) and advances you, step-by-step, through the whole process of making an episode. I liked watching how they plan the show out, that the artists usually do not know all of the details, and how most things are tossed together as it goes. To me, this seems a little odd compared to how most shows are made, but it seems to be working great for South Park. I really love learning about how things are made, and this extra stuck out for that reason alone.

Overall, I thought that South Park season 12 was one of the better seasons that they have done yet. Though the jokes were getting old, the other levels of the show are still fresh and challenging as new things emerge to target. I think that there are a few more seasons left in this show, and then it should gracefully exit the stage. South Park season 12 is a great addition for any highschooler, college kid, or sociology professor. Otherwise, you will probably be offended. You can get South Park season 12 now for only $49.99 at stores across America.
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The 'History' of Caligula: An essay for class

The 'History' of Caligula

Robert M. Barga

For a full version of my Movie Review please go here:

http://whalertly.blogspot.com/2009/03/blu-ray-review-caligula-1979.html

or: http://blogcritics.org/archives/2009/03/12/101729.php

Caligula is one of the most mature, and most pornographic, 'main stream' movies ever to be released. The movie, which was released in 1979, contains the acting of some of the best actors of the era, interjected with the hard core sex of some of the worst actors of the era. Controversy has surrounded the film since it showed up, usually regarding the mature nature of the film, the blatant interjection of porn, and the blind side that the producers pulled on the actor. Usually ignored in this controversy is the fact that the history of Caligula is not exactly what is desired from a retelling of hisotry. Caligula and real history really do not seem to go together.

Caligula tells the story of a fledging Roman youth (I wonder what his name is) as he migrates from being the heir to the throne to being the emperor to being beheaded. This movie starts with Caligula’s rise to power, when he is frolicking in the woods having sex with his sister. It then moves on to when he ascertains the throne of Rome and discusses his popularity and love. Finally, the movie comes crashing down due to the madness that is associated more often with Nero. The movie does this in a somewhat slow paced fashion, which surprisingly fits the film. Oh, and on a side note, it interjects hard-core pornography throughout.

Moving on from the discussion of the plot of the movie, it becomes apparent that the history in Caligula is lacking. Ancient Rome was not sexually obsessed in any manner. As a Roman History major put it, “They were much more open about sex; however, they were also far more conservative then modern America.¹” Basically, the Romans were fine with the concept of sex, but they were not having sex all of the time, nor were they having sex in public. This is a major theme of Caligula, and one that is greatly incorrect. No matter what somebody might see saying otherwise, the Romans were not hyper sexualized.

The rise to power by Caligula was not one of deceit and killing, as it was depicted in the movie. Instead, Caligula's family was killed by his adopted uncle, and then he waited until that uncle died naturally to become emperor; in the movie Caligula kills his uncle and his sister (with whom he has sexual relations) is still alive. After this, for the next two years, Caligula led a decent, moral, and much enjoyed reign².

According to Caligula, he not only killed his uncle, but he immediately led a perverse and violent regime, one not enjoyed by the people. This is a great falsehood, but it is one that is acceptable for the movie. As his actual reign moved into a immoral and horrific one, it made sense for the movie to start with this setting, so that it can move quickly into the actual meat of the movie. That is, the movie is designed to be inaccurate here because the otherwise needed character interplay and growth would be too large.

The rest of Caligula's reign, after those initial two years, was marked with gruesome and perverse interests. This seemed to occur immediately after his illness³. As his mind changed, Caligula started to kill off random people, including many family friends. He also decided to randomly invade Britain, much to the hatred of his generals⁴. Caligula focused mainly on this nature of the emperor, and it was done quite well. Though it was far too focused on his sexual perversions, the actual nature of his other attacks, specifically the move on Britain, were well covered by the movie. This made sense, as the actual nature of the movie was to examine the perversions and immoral aspect of Caligula.

Caligula seems to divulge from the real nature of Caligula's history because it needs to target a specific audience. People who enjoy pornography, or anything of this nature, seem to want to look at immoral and more violent fare. A movie which focuses, for the most part, on the immoral nature of Caligula fits far better into this demographic. Toss in incest (which never happened), gay sex (when in Rome...), and a ton of violence and you have a nice mix for this audience.

It seems as though Caligula was designed to focus far more on the later nature of Caligula's reign, once he had gone crazy and off the rocker. Additionally, it added several untrue features to further the overall enjoyment of the target audience. Most movies seem to do this, and Caligula is in no way alone with this. Caligula has a few parts of history correct, most specifically when talking about invading Britain, but it generally failed its exam. Overall, it seems as though Caligula missed the mark if it was aiming at history – as do most movies based on history (see 300⁵) – but hit the mark if it was aiming at its target demographic.

1IM conversation with Lucas Proctor, copy can be provided

2“On the Embassy to Gaius”, Volume Two – Philo of Alexandria

3“On the Embassy to Gaius”, Volume Two – Philo of Alexandria

4“Natural History” Volume Eleven - Pliny the Elder

5“300 Vs History” - http://www.bayareanewsgroup.com/multimedia/mn/entertainment/300_history_031407.pdf – last seen 3/15/09

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iPhone Application Review: Thirsty Pocket

Are you tired of the dogma that craigslist has on online classifieds? Sick of the ever increasing fees charges by ebay, or their ever changing rules? Just want an online classified that you can easily use from your iPhone or iPod Touch? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above questions, or you just want to try a new online marketplace, then Thirsty Pocket is the application you need.



Thirsty Pocket is just like ebay, amazon, and craigslist, but much easier and much better to use. The application connects you to a simple online marketplace, where you can sell, browse, and/or buy many different items. A simple quick search gathered over 1,000 items near me ranging from a 69 Austin Martin (I wish I had that sort of money) to a scientific calculator. The market is open, more user friendly, and a lot less draconian then most online markets. This is a huge plus.

The way that Thirsty Pocket works is quite simple. Take a picture with your iPhone camera, upload it to the server, enter some information (price, e-mail for contact, small description), and then sell it. BOOM, done. Some buyer will come strolling past (in an online fashion, of course) and look at your item. Heck, he might even buy it. When that happens, the money moves hands, and everything is done. Both you and the buyer leave as happy people.

One of the nice feature in Thirsty Pocket is the simplicity and ease of use. Literally, I can get a posting up, and start selling, in about two minutes (they advertise one minute, but I have yet to be able to do that). Furthermore, I never need to hook up to a computer or use my digital camera. This simplicity is a huge jump from other online sites, where you need a computer and it takes much longer to get everything set up. Not only does this serve to help distance Thirsty Pocket from the crowd, but it also makes sure that we can all use it on the run, which is what most sellers on iPhones want to do.

Another nice feature is the actual layout of the application. Looking at Thirsty Pocket, you can tell that it was designed with the iPhone in mind. From the ease of the submission, to the overall layout, the online marketplace is perfect for you iPhone. Additionally, it utilizes the flick gesture perfectly, and this is pretty sweet. I think that proper integration is essential for every and any application or game on the iPhone. It makes sure that it fits into the theme and ensures that every user known what to do and how to do it. I am really glad that the makers of Thirsty Pocket took so much time to make sure that the layout and integration was so well done.

Yet another nice feature (I know, they seem to be piling on) is the fact that there is no middle man in Thirsty Pocket, but there is no long-term account and/or fees. This is similar to Craig’s List, and vastly different then all other (save for the aforementioned website) auction and selling websites. Anybody can use it, provided they have the e-mail address and access to the system. There are no fees and long-term agreements that you need to make with the makers of the application, so you can feel comfortable in getting the most bang for your buck. You also will not need to worry about absurd rules being changed, added, and the other stuff that Ebay likes to do to the loyal users. No, with Thirsty Pocket, it is just you and the buyer; they just serve as the host.

This is not always a good thing, however. There can be scams, bad listings, and just bad people; this could turn into the iPhone’s version of classified ads. I am a little worried about a system with no internal policing of people, and no overall insurance over my item. I hate the draconian rules and fees of Ebay, but I do like the protection that it offers. I am not really sure how to fix this concern, save to make people get accounts. The accounts, however, will ruin some of what I really like about Thirsty Pocket. If only we could trust each other.

My only other issue with Thirsty Pocket is the fact that there are not many users. As the application gains ground, it should become better, but right now there is really not that many. To me, I want to be able to find a fair share of what I am looking for for sale, thus allowing me to get the best deal possible. Currently, I am stuck shopping at an oligarchy of online sellers. On the other hand, if I am selling, I want many buyers, so that I can up the price. Thirsty Pocket does not yet have the traffic I would want. When they launch the website (coming soon), I am hoping that this changes.

Overall, I think that Thirsty Pocket has a lot of potential. I love the fact that I no longer need to deal with the draconian rules of Ebay, and that all of the money goes into my pocket. I love the ease of use and the overall feel of the application. I really, really like the fact that there is no long term deal for me to sign. However, the security of my trade does worry me a little bit. I am hoping that an increase in traffic will make Thirsty Pocket a much more used and better application. Currently, due to the slower than desired traffic, I give Thirsty Pocket four out of five stars.


Thirsty Pocket is available on the iPhone and iPod Touch, it will soon be coming to the World Wide Web

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iPhone Game Review: 4 Card Pro

Of the hundreds of variations of poker that exist, only handfuls are known to the masses. Texas Hold ‘Em, 5 Card Stud, and 5 Card Draw are among the best known variations of the game. 4 Card Poker, however, is not one of those that many people know; but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have a large following and fan base. Avalinx, the makers of the PRO series of casino card games for the iPhone and iPod Touch have decided that it is time for you to learn of this variation.



4 Card Poker is a variation of poker that is both popular and interesting. Instead of the normal table based game, you can choose to play only against the dealer, not against other players. Additionally, the game is two games in one (if you take an optional bet), meaning that you can both lose and win in the same hand. 4 Card PRO, the newest poker game from Avalinx, takes this odd variation of a popular card game and simply ports it to your iPhone, doing so in their normal flawless manner.

Did you know that a former US Navy Lieutenant Commander won over six thousand dollars while playing poker during the Second World War? Did you know that he then used the winnings to buy a seat in Congress (very interesting considering the person). Finally, did you know that the political clout gained by that seat got President Nixon into the Oval Office? Well, now you do! You can learn this, and more interesting facts about poker in general, simply by reading the ‘history’ section in the main menu of 4 Card PRO.

Following their standard model, Avalinx included a history section in 4 Card PRO to get you more in the game. Not only does it serve to entice, it also serves to educate and show that the game was well thought out and developed. I really do like these features as they help me learn and remember new items. Plus, as a frequent buzztime player at my local BW3, I can use this information to get lots of answers right; thanks for the help. My only issue is that the history section was not specific enough to 4 Card Poker, and instead it focused on Poker in general. I would like more game specific information in the future.

Still sticking to their standard model, Avalinx delivered another flawless and perfect concept and design in 4 Card PRO. The game play is easy, the controls great, and the menus intuitive. They have found a method that works and, unlike most companies in America these days, were smart enough to stick to it. This is a good idea, as people will come back for what they like, and they clearly like this. I believe that no other card game on the iPhone or iPod Touch, including the Texas Hold ‘Em game from Apple themselves, come close to being nearly as good, as pretty, or as sensitive, as the games in the PRO series. Congrats on doing so well.

An interesting feature of 4 Card Poker is that the dealer has an advantage over you. While you are dealt five cards, and need to pick the best four, the dealer is given six cards. While this sixth card is shown to all players (to help you calculate odds and decide to fold), this gives the dealer a huge advantage. In a two player game, like 4 Card PRO is set up as, odds are that that single card will help him 12% of the time. While this might not seem like a lot, it surely is when you are talking about lots of money.

To counter this, Avalinx has included an ‘ask the dealer’ option that helps you decide how to play the hand. Sometimes you need to muck (fold) and lose the anti, sometimes you should raise, and sometimes you should play the aces bet. No matter what you should do, the dealer will tell you what the odds say you should do. Your own risk aversion, however, is entirely up to you. This is a cool feature as it allows you to practice your odds counting, and it makes sure that you can learn how to play the game properly. This sort of thing is there to help out new players, and that makes sure that people will play the game over and over.

Though I complimented the template that Avalinx was using earlier, there is one problem with it. Sure, the game play is great and the graphics are stunning, but I want something new. Having the same card backing, same table backdrops, and same chip layout is starting to get a bit tiring. Frankly, this is starting to take away from the game because it is just not customizable enough, and there are not enough options for the total number of products they currently have out. I would recommend taking a week off of developing the next PRO game, and instead focus on revamping the graphics and looks of all of your games. Doing something like this will only make them better, and really should not harm the company in any way. As I sad, however, this harms 4 Card PRO only a little bit.

Overall, I believe that 4 Card PRO is yet another great additions to the PRO series from Avalinx. Like all of their games, it is flawless in design and perfect in game play. Plus, the looks are just killer. I really like the history sections and the fact that it is easy for a new player (I was new until I started playing with this game) to get on their feet. The only downside is that the overall look is starting to get tiring, and that drops 4 Card PRO down a half-star. Other then that, 4 Card PRO is an outstanding game for you iPhone or iPod Touch.


4 Card Pro has not been rated by the ESRB. The game is currently available on the iPhone and iPod Touch
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