Friday, January 9, 2009

What am I waiting for?

As those astute readers might have noticed, I added two new buttons to my right-side panel (speaking of which, if it does not display properly, please let me know, so I can fix it). One of those is for submitting the writing prompt for one day at One Minute Writer. The other is winning one day. My winning entry was:
Q-What are you waiting for
A- Godot

That was it, and I won. Anyways, as I was struggling to come up with a topic for today’s post, that question kept rotating in my mind. What am I waiting for?

Am I waiting for God?
Somebody to tell me that I can?
Or merely myself?

I really don’t know what I am waiting for, and I have no clue how to start. So, for arguments sake, I looked at my resolutions post and decided that, damnit, I was going to analyze why I am not already working on all of those positions. Let’s really see what I am waiting for…

1) Hold my temper better
Well, this seems quite easy. And I have been working on this for some time, so I really am not waiting for anything here. I just want to make sure that when I get pissed I don’t explode. I haven’t in some time, so it is all good.

2) Apply and get into Grad School (probably U of Miami (OHIO) for MaT of Teaching)
Well, this one seems easy. I am waiting until next fall, when it is time for me to start applying. Sure, I could take an LSAT (for fun) or GRE right now, but both of those are pointless at this point. On this one, I have no choice, I am waiting for the proper time.

3) Lose some weight (I have been working on this for years, trying, really am)
This one is tough on me. I mean, I try to eat healthy, but it just doesn’t stick. I can do it for a day, two days, maybe three, but then I lose control. I am trying, but can not get it done. So what am I waiting for, am I waiting for a trip to the gym, for a person to do it with me, or am I just waiting until it is to late? I am scared, I know that much, and that might be why I still have not accomplished anything. I think that I am waiting to have the proper motivation, somebody go give it to me (hopefully not a doctor).

4) Win the Lottery
This one, like number two, is currently outside of my control. Part of me wants to figure out a way to cheat the system, but the rest of me knows that is a stupid move. I think I am just waiting for the winning ticket here.

5) Have a perfect A quarter
Hey, this is one that I am not waiting on at all. I am actively working on kicking ass this quarter. Sure, Spanish 104 will probably stop me, but polysci 245 and history 152 should give me strong grades. Yay for trying

6) Get my GPA up to 3.0 or higher
Wait, why the hell did I make this goal. As far as I can tell, it is not possible for me to reach this before I graduate. Oh well, I am trying to up my grade. So, here I am waiting for a quantum phenomena that fixes the time problem.

7) Use the internet less (for non blogging/blogcritics things)
Already worked on this, and am using it less. Checking everything (mail excluded) once a day, so I am doing well here. Hopefully I can keep this up throughout the year, but I might falter.

8) Stop spending so much money on technology (this does not include Windows 7)

I haven’t bought anything yet, but was looking quite intently at Fallout3… damnit… oh, and at universal remotes… double damnit… on this one, I am more or less waiting for somebody to stop me. I spend money when I have it, because I need to fill something. What that is, I have no idea, but new tech fixes it. I love technology, and that is why it works. When the girlfriend told me not to by the UR, I didn’t (but I still plan to, as long as she doesn’t tell me no again). I am just waiting to be told.

9) Learn to organize and clean my stuff
PSHHHH, who needs to do this (speaking of which, I need to do some sweeping)… I really have no idea what I am waiting for here, more or less just need to get up off of my lazy ass.

10) Learn how to baste an egg (do any of you know how to?)
Done, well, in concept. Asked the girlfriends mother, she told me, so I know how to… Now, just to try it…

Basically, it looks like I am not waiting for any real event or existential entity. No, it looks like I am waiting on mind. I am waiting to grow up, to mature, to try harder. I am waiting to make sure that I am confident, that I can trust myself, and that I am truly free. I am waiting on myself.

So, what are you waiting on?


Anonymous said...


Barga said...

No, I am not waiting for a pile of sticks

that said, IP now reported to your school

Anonymous said...

oh what is a cockloving loser like you going to do? censor free speech? pathetic

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

You are waiting to get your ass kicked. Like, fuckshitkickedfucked.

Barga said...

Wow, I actually expected California State to, you know, require some sort of intelligence in their students... Too bad

Anonymous said...

hi friend! nice blog U got here..would U mind if we xlinks? pls let me know..tnx =)

Ben said...

If you do figure out how to win the lottery, you could let me know. Would be appreicated.

Barga said...

Of course bud

Ben said...


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Barga said...

But I wana buy one


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