Friday, August 22, 2008

Put Your Right Foot out...

Post 46

When you go to a wedding you always know that there will be that awkward dance afterwards; you know, the one where you see the bride and groom dance, the bride and father dance, the bride and father in law dance, and then the bride passes out from exhaustion. Yeah, well, that dance. Nobody really dances at these things except for the needed dancing, you know, the arbitrary songs. I hate arbitrary songs for three reasons: you ruin good songs, who the fuck wants to chicken dance, and what happened to originality. These are the songs that make you cringe, that make you want to run, that make you actually vomit (no, it was NOT the alcohol). Over Played Songs: what really grinds my gigantic notched wheels.

You Ruin A Good Song:
You know, I used to love Piano Man. After going to bars and clubs and the like I, frankly, can no longer stand the song. Seriously, it is so over played it makes Britney Spears sound good (please don't sue for libel). American Pie was good, but then I heard drunk sorority chicks belting it out; let me tell you, there is nothing that makes you want to kill yourself more than chicks singing/yelling that song, it is horrible. These required songs, be they “We're going to party like it's your birthday” or “The Hokey Poky (ghetto style)” really are played way, way too much. You can ruin anything good by adding too much and music is no exception.

Who The Fuck Wants To Chicken Dance:
For starters, I do not know how to do the chicken dance, there, I redeemed myself. So, we have these dances and songs which are overplayed and yet they demand that we so something. The electric slide, the ghetto hokey poky, the chicken dance and yet they are really not that much fun. Look at the Maccarana, it has a complex set of moves that need to be done in time and yet it is boring and nobody does it. Why are these things staples if nobody does them?

What Happened To Originality:
If every wedding has the Chicken Dance (assuming they are white) and every bar plays Sweet Caroline, then how can people claim to have an unique event. Every bride-to-be wants the perfect wedding; she wants the perfect cake, the perfect gown, the perfect location, and the perfect ceremony. The groom is to be determined later. Why then do they allow these 'traditions' like crappy songs and demeaning cake shoving get in there? Come on women, think for a second, and next time you get married, play some real music.





You know, this whole post sounded much better in my head....





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Robert M. Barga,
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barga.24@osu.edu


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4 comments:

Hajile said...

Music and originality? Can you even use those two words in the same sentence?

Barga said...

Satire normally...

mb said...

Where have you been? Now the brides and grooms are doing all sorts of wild dances at their weddings. They start the dance slow and boring then the real music starts, they do all sorts of crazy things as the audience sits there in disbelief, their mouths open and afterward laughing themselves to death. No more old boring wedding dances, it's getting wild and crazy.

I hate the chicken dance, too. When did anyone ever think that was an apporpriate dance for a wedding? I shudder when the bride is up there flappying her arms in a beautiful formal gown ... acting like a six-year-old!

Barga said...

those sorts of things disgust me too

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