So today I was sitting on the Porcelain Throne over at Columbus State (that is where I go in the summer, it is much cheaper) and got to reading the writing on the walls. For those who do not know this (apparently girls restrooms don’t get written on), men shit with pens. That is right, when we are in the bathroom for longer than thirty seconds we apparently need to either carve something or write something into the walls. This has always fascinated me as well as disturbed me at the same time.
The writing has always been a mixture between witty, sex, and racisms. You will get hundreds of carvings about how black people (using other names) are inferior, how Jews should die, and about how Arabs are the devil (which, seeing as they preach against Satan, does confuse me a little). You will also see postings about getting blowjobs by calling a phone number (often the number 555-5555), how high somebody shot when jacking off (quite impressive actually), or a heart with two initials in it. Occasionally, you will see witty posts, such as “tap your foot for a senator to suck you” which, while still sexual, clearly shows a high level of intelligence and wit.
I was sitting there reading about how “niggers are the death people”, wondering how that was even able to be in a sentence, “white people smell like shit”, well, no duh, it smells like shit in the bathroom, and “Jews are the bane of humanity” (the fact that the author knew what bane meant astounded me) when I came upon this little gem:
Notice the correct grammar usage in this carving?
WOW, I mean, come on, talk about comedy right there. In the midst of all this hatred is this random little comment that was just so original and off beat that I could not help but laugh. I do not think that the neighbor in the next stall was so amused.
After reading all of the comments, and re-reading the Toy Story comment like fifty times, I realized that the bathroom stall of a men’s room is really all that humanity is. We are shit, piss, racism, sex, and the occasional stand out wit. Think about it. Most people are all about sex. All people care about their position in the social hierarchy (which leads directly to racism). Shit and piss represent the dregs of society, the masses who run around in their herds and really contribute nothing. Toy Story is wit; It is the Leonardos, the Lincolns, the Darwins, the Bargas (of course I am up there with such fine company). The wit is what shines threw all of the mess. Really, what is written on bathroom stall is what is written on humanities collective soul.
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Thanks,
Robert M. Barga,
Editor of http://whalertly.blogspot.com/
barga.24@osu.edu
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