iPhone Game Review: Smack Me

Think of Bop It, but on your iphone

What is the 17th best selling iPhone paid application? What was the best application of February 2009 on Blogcritics? What gives you a retro feel, yet also gives you hours of great and addictive game play? If you cheated and looked, then you already know that the answer is Smack Me, a sweet iPhone and iPod Touch game from FunMobility.



Smack Me is a modernistic version of the classic Bop It game. The iPhone shows you an image and an accompanying command – lift me, freeze me, smack me, pinch me, etc.. Your job simply is to do exactly what it is asking of you, within a time frame, while listening to absurd retro music that keeps speeding up. Though it is easy at first, it keeps getting harder and harder as you unlock more difficult levels.

Smack Me has a very basic premise and concept behind it, but that is what makes it so much fun. You can sit there for hours simply following very basic commands, but never see repeats or patterns. This seems easy, but it is really not. The fact that you need to get it right every time, that the sequences get faster, and that the music has alternating beats really throws you off, which in turn really makes it a difficult game. I love how hard it is to play this game, as it gives it not only the retro feel, but also the ability to play over and over.

With these ever changing patterns, Smack Me is also an extremely addictive game to play. Nothing is ever the same from one minute to the next, and there are never any repetitive patterns. Additionally, with the difficulty of the actual game, it was very hard to finish games 100% on the hardest difficulty. Due to this, I kept replaying Smack Me because I wanted to complete the game 100%, do it better, and do it faster. Addictability is essential in any simple game, as it is the only way to keep you playing the game for hours.

I am a retro guy front to back; I like Jumpman, Pac Man, and techno. If something is playing music at me in an 8-bit format, I will instantly fall in love with it. One of the things that I really like about Smack Me is the fact that it has an amazing retro feel. The game is simple and easy, with commands that remind me of things I would find on my old Sega Genesis. The music is technoy, which not only amuses me, but reminds me of my Daft Punk era. Lastly, the voice that commands you in Smack Me is projected in 8-bit format, which means that I love the game. Toss in the fact that the high-score table looks like the ones that you would find on old arcade games and you have a great mix.

The only thing that I find concerning about this game is the fact that the price is too high for most people in the app store. People seem to either want free games or things that cost $.99. Very few games or applications are successful over that price point, and, at $1.99, Smack Me puts itself above the upper limits. Due to this, I do not believe that Smack Me will be able to reach the entire target audience, as most of them will not pay that much. That said, however, I believe that Smack Me is worth the cost, and that it will give you hours of enjoyment.

In the end, I really can not praise Smack Me too much. This is one of the best games available on the iPhone and it is probably going to be a strong candidate for best iPhone application/game of 2009. By utilizing all of the fun principles of the iPhone, from muti-touch to the accelerator, the game really gets you into it. This game is easily one of the most addictive out there, on any platform, and it is a game that you will fall in love with immediately. When I first downloaded Smack Me, I played it for several hours on end. Due to the amazing game play and addictive qualities, Smack Me receives 5-out-of-5 stars.


Smack Me has not been rated by the ESRB. The game is currently only available for the iPhone and the iPod Touch
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Ten Amazingly Accurate Tech Predictions for 2009

I intentionally picked some things out of left field. It would be really pointless for me to predict that both wireless USB and USB3.0 come out, that Snow Leopard is released, etc. Basically, I took some things that might happen, might not, and justified them. Sure, I will not be a 100%, but what fun would it be if I was?



1) Apple will start to lose desktop/laptop market share.
While Apple has never really had a large share of the market, they have been making slow but steady gains the last few years. The biggest increase for Apple is in the college demographic. However, with the stumbling economy, the masses will buy fewer and fewer computers from Apple as they start to do a simple cost/benefit analysis. This will lead to a full reworking of Apple's marketing strategy and long-term plans, thus leading to the new market for Apple.


2) Apple releases a tablet/netbook/large iPod-Touch.
This new market, and new strategy, for Apple will be the release of a netbook/tablet that is essentially a large-screen iPod Touch. While this will get huge sales initially (helping to bump up the netbook market), it will quickly steady out and remain at the roughly 20% market share that Apple currently enjoys. The iNetBook will feature a touch screen, with a stylus as well, and OSX Snow Leopard. Unlike most netbooks, Apple's will be priced in the $500-$600 range, but that should not keep Apple from getting their normal support (I will be buying it the day it comes out).


3) The Netbook market takes off, but Windows XP remains the primary OS.
With the economy going towards the gutter and consumers spending far less than in years past, low-tech gear will gain in leaps and bounds. Most people want computers to e-mail, browse the Internet, and maybe look at pictures, and netbooks fill this niche perfectly. In 2009, netbooks will take about 20%-30% of the laptop market share and will remain in the sub 400$ range. Regardless of any Linux options or any future Apple OS, Windows XP will remain the king of netbook systems.


4) Microsoft will start a phone company, the iPhone will keep growing, Android will stumble.
The Apple iPhone, with its sexy look and easy-to-use touch screen will continue to grow in market share, while its app store makes millions for Apple. The iPhone, which will be available in larger sizes and memory configurations, will soon become the market leader of smart phones. Android, which launched with some fanfare, will soon plummet and disappear as most companies realize that it is better to have a company who can advertise their OS as opposed to you having to do it. Microsoft, in an attempt to keep Windows Mobile alive, will either create a Zune phone or make a play to purchase RIM (BlackBerry) which will give them a strong standing.


5) Google will release a full-fledged OS, un-beta Gmail, and stop supporting Chrome.
Google, preemptively judging their Android OS as being a market-stealer, will release a full-fledged OS for PCs (and maybe Macs). This operating system will mostly rely on cloud computing and will be lightweight, open source, and full of widgets. It will start strongly, but then will fall to Linux-like market share. As part of the release, Google will also release a final and full version of Gmail (only a few years too late) with only a few new features. Gmail will quickly become the dominant online e-mail client. Chrome, which slumped after a large release (like all of Google's products) will be terminated. Instead, Google will acquire Firefox (and Thunderbird) and attempt to gain browsing territory.


6) Microsoft will release Windows 7.
Following the release of Google's OS and Apple's OSX Snow Leopard, Microsoft will launch Windows 7 in the middle of its projected launch window; that is, it will be released in early November. This is just in time for Christmas, and it will be included on all PCs sold as Christmas presents. Unlike Vista, Windows 7 will be greeted with rave reviews and will have a large user base from the start. This will be seen as revitalizing and turning Windows around. I also predict that I will be standing in line and will buy it the second it comes out.


7) The Resurrection of HD-DVD.
As already stated, with the economy in the gutter, consumers are doing their best to spend as little as possible. A dead, but good, format should be able to help them do that. While there will be no new HD-DVD's (for now) released, the pricing of the actual existing movies (a large library of them) and the players are so low that consumers who do not care about the new releases will be starting to buy up these discs. Once there is a large sale record of HD-DVD, Toshiba will start to make the players again. Starting with smaller companies, and then moving to some mainstream studios, HD-DVD will make a comeback.


8) All three consoles will sell less, PS3 will be pulled.
With consumers spending less, all electronics will take a hit, and the console market is no exception. The Wii, with its low price and lower-end technology, will still be leading the market in the console wars. The Xbox 360, not to be outdone, will lower its price and keep on truckin, but will only gain slightly on the Wii. Sony, with their PS3, will not be able to cut their costs any more, as they are already selling each system in debt. Sony will cut their losses, and pull out of the console war for this generation (though their PSP will remain).


9) Microsoft will announce the Xbox 720, and a Microsoft handheld gaming system. Sony will release the PS4.
Sony, in an attempt to find a way to make money quickly and surely, will work on releasing the PS4. After discontinuing the PS3 they will roll out a console that is essentially a small computer, with dual Nvidia 9800 GPUs, Blu-Ray, and all the whistles; Sony will attempt to create another high-end system. While this works at first, and it starts the next generation of consoles, the market will not be there for such a costly item. Sony will pull out of the console market shortly after. Microsoft, on the other hand, will announce the Xbox 720, which will be a hybrid between the PS3 and the Wii, featuring the best of both while also keeping the few nicer features of the current Xbox 360. They will have a Halo title ready for launch. Additionally, Microsoft will announce a handheld system to compete with the DS and the PSP (it might be part of the Zune phone). Nintendo will continue with the Wii, possibly announcing an HD version (with a USB dongle). They will not announce a new console until 2010 or later.


10) Rock band and Guitar Hero will join, or at least release compatible controllers.
While this might just be a wish of mine, but I really am hoping that this happens in the near future. With the slowing down of sales eating into their margins (due to the price of each game), both Rock band and Guitar Hero will team up to release new games. The two companies will merge and become one. They will then release multiple variations of each title. If this does not happen, then I believe that the two companies will release a standard for their instruments, so that they all work on the same games. This makes sure that their games are sold, even if their instruments are not.

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talking about BREAKING THE DAMN LAW

"I love all the people on here, frolicking around, all happily talking about BREAKING THE DAMN LAW"
-Myself when first posting in a thread on Gaia about Limewire/ISP/Net Neutrality

In a thread where several people were discussing the proper ways to illegally download music/movies, there were only two people discussing the legality of it. The rest were talking about their right to steal from others. This was my opening post into that thread.



“If you could, would you steal a car? Would you steal a purse? Would you steal a boat? Most likely, unless you are a kleptomaniac, you probably said NO to all of those questions. Now, why would you steal a movie/song?”
You should know this quote. It is the line that is at the start of many of your DVDs, usually it features attractive looking ladies and men stealing expensive looking cars. While I think that the ad has good potential, it really does not touch the issue. When you steal a car, you are taking the only one of it that exists; with a song, you are taking a copy. Most people, when asked “if you can make a copy of this car, and take the copy, would you?” would answer with a resounding YES. This is what file sharing is, you are not actually taking an item, you are copying it and taking the replicate (shouldn’t Harrison Ford have retired them all by now?)

Please keep in mind, I am not touching personal use here, that is a different topic for a different day. I am merely touching the sharing and copying of files for other persons.

If you would not steal an actual version of something, what makes you think that you have a right to a copy of the same thing? If I make money per book I sell, then how would selling my book to one person, having that person copy and distribute it to ten others, help me in the long run. Sure, I get my money for selling one book, but I should be getting the money for selling eleven. This is the basic principle of file sharing, and this is why it is wrong.

Now, I really don’t like the slippery slope fallacy, and I hate all fallacies in general, I must use it for this issue. If a person is able and willing to download a file (illegally), odds are that they will do it again. Also, if one person seeds a download, odds are that thousands of people will download it. This is not just speculation, this is supported by current downloading evidence.

Currently, several record, movie, and porn companies are suing users of programs like bit torrent, kazaa, and limewire over their seeding of songs and movies and pleasures. These companies are getting millions of dollars in rewards, and they look as though they are planning on taking on more and more users. This, to me, is a good thing. Persons should be secure in their property, be it real or intellectual. A song is the property of the record company (usually) or the artist, not the property of the person who has a CD. Hopefully, as these cases increase, more and more people will stop downloading illegally.

You are wondering why it is that I am talking about this. Admit it, you know you were. I am talking about this for the same reason I keep talking about parents and their teens. who is the main downloader of illegal things? TEENS. Who will pay for the teens actions if they go to court? PARENTS. Yep, once again, I am looking at parental responsibility. You would not let your kids steal from others, beat people up, or anything like that, so why are you letting them use the internet to steal properties? Step up, police what they are doing, and teach them what not to do. Windows XP, Vista, and I believe OSX all have controls you can use to stop this sort of thing. Various flavors of Linux do as well.

As I keep saying, it is the parents responsibility here to make sure that their kids are following the law. Take their phone away. Take their computer away. Take their car away. Sure, they may hate you, but you are a parent, not a friend. Start acting like it. Read more ...

The Gamers Bill of Rights

Post 52

To all Ohioans and those in other states dealing with the aftermath of Ike please note that our hearts go out to you. That said, I have power, so suck it...

Recently, the companies of Stardock - makers of The Political Machine, Galactic Civilizations, and several Windows Themes and Upgrades - and Gas Power Games - makers of Supreme Commander and the Siege games - decided that PC gamers deserved certain rights. They found these rights to be inalienable (though, why God gives a damn about gaming I don't understand) and decided to write them down. They called these rights “The Gamers Bill of Rights”. Now, some of these 'rights' were obvious, some stupid, and some nonsensical; thus, in a true Bargarian fashion, I have decided to analyze these 'rights'.

My comments are in bold.

1. Gamers shall have the right to return games that don't work with their computers for a full refund.

   1. There are two main problems with this statement: What if it was knowingly not working AND what if they downloaded it? I understand that if the game did not work as advertised they should be allowed to return it FOR EXCHANGE. If you allow it to be returned for a refund you are only encouraging piracy. Also, how do they expect me to be able to return a downloaded file?

2. Gamers shall have the right to demand that games be released in a finished state.

   1. This sounds all fine and dandy until you realize what this entails. What is a finished state? I would argue that 'The Sims' is not finished as it has no overall goal, thus not being a game because it has no conclusion. Furthermore, you can test a game for years but never find some of the problems as you WILL NOT DO what I will do to the game. I suggest and alternative to this later.

3. Gamers shall have the right to expect meaningful updates after a game's release.

   1. Wait, it is a finished project BUT gets meaningful updates? Okay, so these rights are already problematic.

4. Gamers shall have the right to demand that download managers and updates not force themselves to run or be forced to load in order to play a game.

   1. I agree 100% with this condition. I should be able to pop in a single player game and play right away, no matter where I am, no matter what connection I have. For multiplayer and that sort of game I can understand why this is needed.

5. Gamers shall have the right to expect that the minimum requirements for a game will mean that the game will adequately play on that computer.

   1. Define adequately. Minimum requirements are just that, what the game CAN run on at the least. Why should you expect DX10 graphics from your 50$ card?

6. Gamers shall have the right to expect that games won't install hidden drivers or other potentially harmful software without their express consent.

   1. Last time I checked, that little agreement you click to when you install the game SAYS that they can install these programs. Looks like the consent is there. I have a suggestion here later too.

7. Gamers shall have the right to re-download the latest versions of the games they own at any time.

   1. While I think that we should be able to get our games running no matter what, I have a serious issue with this idea. Why should the company run the bandwidth and storage capacity just because you screwed up your computer. They should allow us to have multiple installs (explained later) and thus KEEP YOUR CD IN GOOD CONDITION. They should not lose money because you were stupid.

8. Gamers shall have the right to not be treated as potential criminals by developers or publishers.

   1. I agree 100% with this. We should not be treated as criminal for losing our card boxes and the like. Let us call and request the code (make it similar to requesting passwords for a website).

9. Gamers shall have the right to demand that a single-player game not force them to be connected to the Internet every time they wish to play.

   1. Wait, didn't they already mention this?

10. Gamers shall have the right that games which are installed to the hard drive shall not require a CD/DVD to remain in the drive to play.

    1. I agree with this. I am really glad that Spore, even with the DRM, does not require the CD to play. With emulation software the method of guaranteeing a real purchase using the CD is no longer useful.

I think that this 'Bill of Rights' is more a gimmick than anything else. Most of these things are illogical and frankly idiotic. Do we require cars to say every little thing that is in them? Is the gas millage accurate? Do we make book sellers give us unlimited copies because we broke them?
NO

So why should we make game publishers do the same? This is a move to get people to like Stardock more, and to fight DRM. Guess what, if I own something I have the right to protect it, even if it is seen as Draconian.

Here is my Gamers Bill of Rights

1. For every game bought there are to be seven authentications allowed (like in ITunes) in which that game can run. These should be allowed to be turned on or off to accommodate the moving of computers or the selling of games. You also have the right to call and get the code whenever needed, similar to how a website gives out forgotten passwords.

2. All games are to be updated in a timely manner (roughly once per ¼) for three years after the release of the game. Furthermore, the companies are to inform the gamers of what they are working on fixing.

3. The agreement that we check in order to install the game is to be available to read at every selling location. This is to include all drivers and programs aside from the original game installed.

4. Gamers have the right not to be required to update or be on line for single player games.

5. All gamers have the right to be considered Innocent until proven Guilty. They are not to be assumed as pirates when simply trying to get their game installed.

6. All gamers have the right to be able to run all of their games without the CD/DVD in the rom-drive.

7. All companies are to provide a support staff either online or at a toll-free number until their update time has expired. They may still charge for hints.

8. Any and all property acquired in a game can be sold or traded based on the users desires.

9. All games are to be released at the same time thought the world.

10. On all DVDs/CDs they are to have no region assigned, they should be able to be played in any drive anywhere in the world (this assists with selling and gifting).

As always, please leave any comments, no matter how large or how small about the contents of this blog post. Also, please leave any comments/suggestions about this site/post as a whole.

Feel free to e-mail me if you so wish too instead.

Thanks,

Robert M. Barga,

Editor of http://whalertly.blogspot.com/

barga.24@osu.edu

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