Random Listenings of a College Campus – Part 2 of 3

Simply by wandering around a campus on a Friday or Saturday night you can learn hundreds of interesting and unique things. You can learn about the fact that the government caused 9/11 (disclaimer, I do not agree with this), how a girl lost her virginity, or simply that a person is super smashed (direct quote). All of these things are simply learned by walking around listening, not even volunteering or anything. Seriously folks, these are just shouted out.



Though this is not in a category, this is the best of anything I have ever heard on campus. We have these crazy preacher guys on OSUs campus all the time, and the lecture, preach, and condemn like the world was about to end. Anyways, one of them yelled at a shirtless Frisbee player ‘put a shirt on you heathen’, which the player responded with ’I have yet to eat the apple, so I do not yet know my sin of nakedness’. Wow, simply Wow. I mean, this dude thought on his feet, was able to respond, and actually cracked the preacher up.



I have been walking down the street, ambling by parties, and overheard the following fun tidbits:

-Man, this pipe is finished, get me some more weed
Seriously man, if you are yelling out that you need more weed then any good cop will come arrest you

-Come on baby, I love you and I want to fuck
Now, I must give the girl credit, she responded with ‘but you’re drunk’ but I still have to wonder exactly what was going through his head, and hers when she chose him

-You know, OSU used to be a military base
Wow, just wow. I really want to see where he came up with that

-9/11 was caused by Osama Bin Laden and he is the president
Either this dude was dyslexic or he seriously had some issues

-Yeah, my first time was on my parents bed, he was so small
I just feel bad for the guy… oh, and her parents


Those, arguably, could be considered private, as they occur at a party. Much more interesting, however, are the comments that happen when you are at a restaurant (read PJs or Buckeye Donuts) at like 2 in the morning

-Man, my thong is riding up to high, I got me a wedgie
(this was followed by me turning around in interest, discovering it was a guy, and then loosing my greasy food)

-Mark screwed me like 15 times yesterday, it was so good
Seriously lady, what the hell? I mean, I understand the concept and all of that, but why would you explain that

-You know, my prof. is pretty hot… I wonder if I can get good grades for fooling around with him
Um, lawsuit anybody?

Even better, that statement was followed up with her friend saying:
-don’t do that… I went to this party once, hooked up with a dude, and it turned out it was my TA. He made so much fun of me
Really, I would have loved to be in that class


I know, you are wondering why I chose to share all of this with you. Well, if you come back on Wednesday you will find out…